freedom

Taking the bus to work (a little under two miles, from near my house to the corner downtown where the building where I work is located) is pretty unusual for me. In many ways, I like it. I don't worry about gas prices much - though they have gone down a bit lately, which is nice, though that hardly makes up for the state of the U.S. economy right now - and I don't pay to park. Instead I board a narrow bus, usually mostly full, and show an ID card.* Then I sit near the front and tune out for roughly 13 minutes, making an attempt to avoid getting too close to anyone else, when possible. I don't think about the day ahead of me. Usually I think about what I may have forgotten (usually nothing), what I read the previous night before going to sleep, what I dreamed about (when I can remember, which is somewhat rare), what I have to do that day after work, what tasks I may try to accomplish on my brief breaks throughout the workday.

I don't smile. I don't look out the windows much, at least not consciously - but on the way down Race Street I look at the trees that line the road. I glance at the buildings downtown and I think about who resides in their rooms, who parks in their lots. Sometimes I wish I was the person sitting at that cafe table over there, in front of that cafe, instead of a person on a bus heading to work behind a counter at a different cafe. Sometimes I see snippets of fellow riders' text messages and try to figure out who they are and where they're going. Try to figure out why someone in a cell phone contact list is called "Big Bra So-and-So." But usually I just tune out.

Basically my mind is free, but my body isn't, it's on a sort of box on wheels going down the street. I have to wait at a bus stop at a certain time in order to get to work every morning: if I miss a bus, I'm generally screwed.** Likewise, when I leave work and want to go home, I have to wait at another stop at a certain time, and usually for a certain length of time, for the bus to arrive and pick me up. I am passive, the bus with its driver is active. It goes around the city, and I tag along sometimes.

Driving a car is so different. I have to have fuel in the tank, I have to drive it downtown, I must find a place to park and then pay or figure out some arrangement for paying later, as I leave. When I drive through the streets, I think about other cars and other drivers because I have to. I think fleeting thoughts about the streets and I drive down them and think about where I want to go next. My body is free, but my mind is on the road. Mostly.

Being mobile is quite nice - it's something I've valued for a very long time and a desire for mobility is the thing that made me want to drive and want to save to buy my first car when I was sixteen, which I did. I like being able to get around this city, and the country - having the capability to go where I want to go when I want to. The freedom of driving around is incredible. I miss it.


*Since I started this job, despite having graduated from UC in June, I've been using my UC student ID card to ride the bus free. It's part of a UC program - the school/student government pay fares for students and faculty. Unfortunately for me, UC is clamping down on improper ID use in this way and starting the week after next, I'll no longer be able to ride free. I'll have to pay the fares, or walk. I could bike but I've decided against it for various reasons. (I can't believe you've read this far. Do you really care about my commute?) I need more exercise, so I've decided to try and walk about half the trips I take - for instance, I want to try to walk to work every day and then take the bus home.
**Today is the first day I missed the bus. I had to drive to work to avoid being late... which created kind of a messy, crappy day. Until work ended. Then I drove to the bookstore and purchased a notebook, which I needed, and drove around a bit more, which calmed me.